Where do I begin? Nine years ago our lives simply paused and we watched everyone go on with their day but we could not understand how we were supposed to go on with ours.
It was a Sunday morning, around 9:30 or so. Melissa (my brother's widow) had asked us all to go to her house for a big breakfast but of course we were all running late. I was still lying on the couch watching TV, Monica was still sleeping and my parents were outside doing their usual weekend clean up. Alex was at her home learning how to be a new mommy. Melissa called and I answered (I was quickly thinking of excuses to explain why I wasn't on my way to her house)... but she wasn't calling to rush me... she called and asked if I could go watch the girls because she needed to make her way to the hospital... of course I freaked!!
She explained Joe had gone a morning motorcycle ride with 3 of his buddies and one of his friends, Frank, had called her that morning crying telling her that Joe had got into an accident. She said that at first she thought it was a really bad joke but then he told her to listen... what she heard was the helicopter which was about to air lift Joe to the nearest hospital. I didn't know what to do!! I quickly ran to the back door and yelled at the top of my lungs for my mom and dad and told them to hurry because "Joe was in the hospital" (I later found out that I yelled so loud that that is how my neighbors found out).... Monica heard and woke up... we made our way to Melissa's house. None of us wanted to stay behind so we all went to the hospital. We picked up Alex's husband (one of Joe's best friends) but left Alex behind because she was still recovering from giving birth only 5 days before. She was not happy about that but agreed as long as we called her as soon as we heard anything.
My brother in law drove about 100 miles an hour, so we got to the hospital in what felt like 2 minutes. I was in the back seat crying so loud that I had to hush myself with a towel I found... I remember thinking that Joe was really going to make fun of me when he heard that I was crying so hard... I was prepared to hear "you are such a baby!"
When we got out of the car we passed by his friend’s bike and Joe's helmet was strapped to it. The helmet didn't look banged up so I rubbed it and said "oh, thank God his helmet looks good so he must be fine." When we got into the hospital they quickly rushed us into an office/conference room (clear sign that the news wasn't going to be good!). We all stood around crying and confused. After what seemed like HOURS the doctor finally walked in, he asked Frank what happened... he explained that they were riding down a windy road and it looked as if Joe's bike slid on broken pavement and he smashed straight into a mountain. The doctor was looking through his file or at least pretending to look and then said, "we did the best we could but he just didn't make it"... I have never heard myself cry as hard as I did that day.
Melissa, as calm as can be, got her three girls and told the doctor she wanted to see him... she did. Then it was my mom and dad's turn... then Monica and I walked into the cold white room where he was. I touched him and cried and could not understand how this strong big brother of mine... died... yep died....
We sat in conference room for a couple of hours avoiding calls from Alex (we didn't want to tell her over the phone). We finally made our way home... my dad wanted to be alone and asked to be dropped off at home before we broke the news to Alex...we pulled up to her driveway, she was sitting in her porch with Jake... she knew it was bad news because we were all still crying. I walked up to the door shaking my head and said, "he's dead".... Alex cried the worst gut-wrenching cry (her neighbors came out and asked if they could help).
I always thought about how difficult a time we all had as a family because we lost one of the most important people in our lives... but now that I have Nevaeh I realize how strong my sister in law must have been and still is. It must have felt impossible to go on but since she had her girls she had no choice. Melissa was only 28 and she became a widow/single mother of three in seconds. Can you imagine?!?!? She had to explain to them why everyone was crying and why their daddy was never coming home... Every time Ashley (2 yrs. old) heard a motorcycle drive by their home she would run to the window and yell for her daddy... I honestly don't think I would be half as strong.
Christmas Day was a hit!! It was our very first time hosting such a big event at our home... it was stressful but we did it and we can't wait to do it again.
We love having family around so we can't wait to do it again... even though we were stressed for a day or two before it was worth it.
